beginning

So, last week, Sheetal stayed back at my place. I was way beyond glad. I love conversing with him. There is some kind of unknown magic in the way he expresses. Undoubtedly, Madhu & Sheetal have a very special place stored for them within me! I guess, not many get to be a gem and thus, we know their true value.

Since quite some time, Sheetal has been insisting that we should watch "the Secret". I had read the book earlier and was impressed but undoubtedly, the film has left me speechless. It has indeed brought out a small change in me. It is growing, and I can sense that!

I've been wondering since that day - what am I doing? Who am I?

On one hand, you need to believe that you are somebody. You are born for a reason...everybody is! On the other hand, you tend to realise, where is that reason that you need to bring out in the public? Things happen for a reason. But, you cant wait till they do, supposedly! You can make them happen and then await the reasons, I guess! I wonder, who are we? When this thought is voiced, friends, strangers, audience get ready to point fingers and say, "What a bore! You've become old!" I still wonder, who I am! For some, I may be a funny, witty fellow who really doesn't like seeing people being off...it puts me off! For some, I may be a rich brat (Dad would kill me!). For some, I would be a complete manager...for a few others, I would be a thorough PR guy. For some, I would be a really loyal friend...always there for others...anytime any place...for some, I would be an annoying guy filled with attitude in loads! For some, I might be interesting...for many, I might be boring! Many hate me for the person I am...a few love me, just the way I do too! Hmmmm...so whom does that leave me to be, finally? I'm equally clueless! I guess I'm just me! I have a few aims and goals in life...I want to achieve them. I love a few people in life...I want to be with them. I admire a few people in life...I want to become like them! All I'm hoping is, I'm just on the right path...walking a few steps ahead, towards all of them!

Its taken Dad 5 full years to get convinced that the lens is what interests me and makes me go in a totally different world! I'm just happy and thankful. Mom knows I'll do something in life...she knows is just the way I do! I dont have much time with me, although they say life is long. But, I guess, I just want to be fast!

Many of them, whom I admire really dont know about my love for them. I just hope, it remains this way, to be honest! "the Secret" is what has inspired me to do a lot! As a start, I'm returning back to expressing myself, once again, through words! Hope, the start doesn't end soon! I had big plans for this blog, for a start...I guess, I just needed that inspiration!

"frames" is what it would be called! And, you would know about it soon... I'm launching "frames" today, as it happens to be an important and special day!!:)

I'm back to "wireless communications" as of now...viva on Monday! Cant crib saying that I hate it...I have to do it!

ise dhalne na do

Udne lage hai saare par khwaab ke,

Hakeekat hai saamne meri aankhon ke;
Reth pe dikhe nishaan the chode jo kal ke,
Ajab si hai yeh dhadkane inhi rishto ke;
Khanke khanke choodiya hai,
Mitne ko ab dooriya hai,
Saare gham au’ saare shikve
Lagte hai ab nipte nipte
Shab ki pehli shaam hai yeh
Ise dhalne na do…

Jis mod par the hum tum mile,
Us mod par chode, gul hai khile
Masoom hai, hairaan bhi;
Maloom hai, anjaan bhi;
Chalke chalke rang se hai,
Bechaini mein dang se hai;
Ashqein, khushiyaa aur sapne
Mujhse hai sab lipte lipte,
Shab ki pehli shaam hai yeh,
Ise dhalne na do…

Khamoshiyo se kehti sadaayein
Madhoshiyon mein rehti adaayein
Muskaati hai, sharmaati bhi
Dohraati hai, ghabraati bhi
Halke halke pal khile hai
Khoye se jo kal mile hai
Nazrein, ghadiyaa aur rishtey
Pal ko saare hai simte simte
Shab ki pehli shaam hai yeh
Ise dhalne na do…

wajood

aksar lamho mein ulajhta hoon main,
kuch jawaabon mein sualajhta hoon main;
sheeshon mein khud ko dhoondu main jab,
khud ki parchaaiyon se poochta hoon main -
aaj to jee utha hai tu,
aaj to jee raha hai tu,
sach yeh bata, tu hai kaun?

...she, whose silence speaks

“Within me,

The silence of derailed trains

Distant rumble of a
Gathering storm

Foreboding of unsettling winds
Traces of unmarked wanderings”

At times, when you meet a few people, you realize that you have a lot in life that you can do…that you have a lot more people who can inspire you…that you have a lot new chapters in life that you need to write.

At times, you do meet a few people who are different, who inspire you to be different…to be just a step ahead of the rest.

I met one such lady today. An actor to the daily crowd, a painter to a few who know her, a photographer to her interests, and an explorer of life to herself, perhaps!

I got to know about my meeting with her late last night from Ashokeji. I was not really over-excited, although I’ve always appreciated and admired her works on celluloid. I guess you feel the worth of something precious, only when you see it! That is precisely what happened today when I met her.

An artiste – she truly defines; an apartment – she surely refines. The walls of her house surround a huge open space that exhibits creativity even as they remain empty. I guess, with the presence of a few people, their surroundings get the fortune of borrowing their features.

Throughout our conversations, all that stood out was her silence. She listened patiently to what we said. She spoke a bit, and again listened patiently to what was being explained. I often wondered if actors were as striking as they looked on screen. My doubts vanished today. The eyes that could capture the mind of any soul on screen are indeed way more powerful in real life.

As soon as our meeting got over, I couldn't stop from telling people about this brilliant human whom I had met today. A few might have understood, a few might have ignored, but all I know is what I felt as I sat and interacted for 30 minutes with a lady, who speaks a thousand words with her silence; a lady who is much more than just being an artiste; a lady who lives life in the search of existence.

Europe Journals

a moment

I would've come here for a wish
that could become true;
I would've got lost in this world
that is so free and so new;
I would've seen beyond things
that look so acute;
I would've re-written
this unforgotten route;
But the question does remain
and is pretty quiet -
Do I want things
to be easy and so right?
I am just waiting all through this
and living all these moments,
I am not wishing any wish today
by throwing these little cents;
Life is beautiful just the way it is!

I'm going to be free
and just live it...just be...
I don't need a wish for you
or a cent or destiny;
All we need is a moment,
a moment from life
where you will see
the love;
the love that stays in me...


- 22nd July, 2007, 20:33hrs
Trevi Fountain, Rome

Europe Journals

Amsterdam

It is the city of the red light district. It is the city of the amazingly tasty french fries. It is indeed the city showcasing dutch beauty in humans. It is very aptly known as one of the most colorful cities in the world.

I walked out of the Central station at 13:00hrs. As a trademark, the trams were busy finding their routes among the large number of people of all races walking as one big group together. As soon as the signal turns green, people cross the roads and disperse in their respective directions. I did the same.

I was here about 5 times last year. I didn't want to spend time in the museums this time. I wanted to shop. Taking a quick glance at all the souvenirs, and not getting excited by them this time, I walk straight to C&A - my favorite store in Europe. I pick up one, then two, then three, then four shirts and tell myself enough for now! I had not got the time to see the lane behind C&A last time. I decided to walk there this time. I enter "WE" and buy 3 more shirts! Am I a shopping freak or what? Maybe I am!

I walk and walk and walk and smile all throughout as I enjoy my walks. There is no reason you cannot smile. When you are shopping, you love the costs. When you are walking, you love the girls! I guess after the Italians, the Dutch ladies have the best features as far as looks go. As I continue my walks through the streets and the shops, I remind myself that I had forgotten to have Lunch. I quickly stop at a MacD and order the menu I have been craving for way back in India - Chicken Nuggets...I love them! By the time, I was ready to move out of MacD, the rains were happily willing to accompany me in large numbers. I decide to enter C&A for escaping from them and letting myself alone. C&A is so not the place to go to when you have money but dont want to spend it. It changes your mind in the initial few minutes! I now try out the jackets and happily buy one. Mom had given me a lot of coins of this country's currency which she had got with her. I count them like a good accountant and sweetly submit it at the counter. The dutch lady (very pretty and if I may say...ammm...hot) smiled and kindly began counting it too. Its a smart jacket and I happily begin to wear it.

As I enter the women's section to just check a few things out for my friend(s), I realise that I am BAD at this. I nicely and smartly decide to leave the place. As I walk the streets again, Mom gives me a call and asks me a question which really doesn't have an answer - "How can you just walk on the streets for 6hours?"

I don't know, Mom. It is fun on the streets of Amsterdam.

Despite staying in Mumbai for almost 18years now, I have hardly been a townie. My knowledge about Colaba etc is as good as I know Dutch now. But, the streets of Amsterdam are similar to the ones at Colaba. Mumbai, indeed, can be turned into a good tourist attraction if we are kind and practical enough about our dirt on the streets.

The watch freak that I am, it just excites me everytime I see a good design. I decide to buy a good black leather strapped watch with a black dial, that looks amazingly smart. Yes, the brand?
It looks nothing less than a Carrera...I don't remember the brand...Ok...fine...its a duplicate immitation of a Carrera with some other name but it costs just 10euros and it was so worth it!

I was pretty tired by now so decide to take the 2hour trip back to Hengelo, the city where I am put up for the coming 3 weeks. It isn't majorly different here from what we have back in our homeland, but still it makes you feel different. Why? You really can't say. Some would say because its cleaner...some would say because its prettier. But, our homeland is pretty too...as they say, its after all just a question of what your eyes want to see.